ARTICLE

FORGIVENESS

DEFINITIONS:  First things first.  Here are some definitions:

Forgiveness: Forgiveness is typically defined as the process of concluding resentment (anger), indignation or hurt as a result of a perceived offense, difference or mistake, and/or ceasing to demand punishment or restitution. The Oxford English Dictionary defines forgiveness as “…to grant free pardon and to give up all claim on account of an offense or debt.”
     The concept and benefits of forgiveness have been explored in religious thought, the social sciences and medicine.   Forgiveness may be considered simply in terms of the person who forgives including forgiving themselves, in terms of the person forgiven and/or in terms of the relationship between the forgiver and the person forgiven.   In some contexts, forgiveness may be granted without any expectation of restorative justice, and without any response on the part of the offender (for example, one may forgive a person who is incommunicado or deceased).   In practical terms, it may be necessary for the offender to offer some form of acknowledgment, apology, and/or restitution, or even to ask for forgiveness, in order for the wronged person to believe himself able to forgive.
     Most world religions include teachings on the nature of forgiveness, and many of these teachings provide an underlying basis for many varying modern day traditions and practices of forgiveness.   Some religious doctrines or philosophies place greater emphasis on the need for humans to find some sort of divine forgiveness for their own shortcomings, while others place greater emphasis on the need for humans to practice forgiveness of one another.   Others make little or no distinction between human and/or divine forgiveness.
     The more purely psychological definition is similar.   Interpersonal forgiveness is a willingness to abandon one's inclination to harbor resentment, hurt, negative judgment or indifference towards one who unjustly injured us, while fostering the undeserved qualities of compassion, generosity and even love towards him or her.   To paraphrase one developmental psychologist, forgiveness is giving up the resentment or hurt to which you are entitled and offering to the person who hurt you friendlier attitudes to which they are not entitled.
     I think there is an additional aspect.   Forgiveness is a psychological dilemna, which is based upon ambivalence.   To be continued…

-Dr. Griggs

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